New year's approaching like a rocket

In less than 24 hours, all of us will say goodbye to year 2010 and welcome the arrival of year 2011.

This blog is named as 'positive changes', so it's time to make positive changes which can change the way you appreciate things in life, and even make you a happier person after all. So.. What are some of the changes that can be made to make our world a better place to live in?


"Get rid of vulgarities and
stop those flow of rude comments
from coming out of your throat and then mouth".

This really should be done so that our environment and our mind are not polluted with all these nonsense which goes on and on as kids nowadays do it just because they think it's cool. If you think it's cool to do it, I'll post a challenge for you, that is, 'say it out loud to your teachers, principal, and police officers'. Once you realise how bad the outcome is, you wouldn't find it cool at all.


"Spending quality time 
with family, relatives and friends
who deserve to have your love and concern".

Time is precious and running out. In a day which consists of 24 hours, 5 to 8 hours would already be spent on sleeping. Besides that, time would be wasted on showering, exercising, doing assignments, taking afternoon naps and etc. So, the time left to spend with your loved ones is actually not enough at all especially when you are busy with school work and projects. Hence, in the coming year 2011, you should aim to maximise your available time by coming up with a plan or schedule. And most importantly, you should train yourself to have discipline so that you won't exceed the project deadlines and reduce the amount of time that can be spent with your loved ones.


"Adopt a positive thinking and mindset".

You should be optimistic and not be afraid to know the outcomes. You reap what you sow, therefore if you have already done a good job, then be rest assured that you will be rewarded with the outcome that you want. Think positively but it must be realistic as well, so that you will be a happier person. If you keep thinking negatively, you would be stuck in a situation whereby surrounding you are just dark and gloomy shadows. Of course, how can you be a happy person when exposed to such a harsh environment? You rule your own world, then why not make it a pleasant one? So, be confident and never be afraid to make mistakes.

There are so many positive changes that can be made to improve your life, but I can't possibly list all of them down here. However, you can read other posts of mine, to understand what can be done to make you a happier person.
Advanced merry new year to all.   

My beloved grandma

This post is dedicated to my lovely grandma who always look forward to weekends, I will tell you more about it in a moment.

Grandma was hospitalised for 3 weeks plus, in which she was very conscious for the first two or three days, but eventually she became drowsy and she was not able to speak. Through this period, we came to the hospital to accompany her and we thought that there is a good chance of recovery. However, we were wrong.

During the period of unconsciousness, she could open her eyes and seemed to be responding when we talk to her, but she was unable to speak. We greeted and spoke to her, hoping that she would be able to speak up and recover. Summarising our feelings in one short sentence, "We want our happy grandma back".

I stayed with grandma for a night, sitting beside her. I touched her right hand and I left my hand on it, hoping that she knows that I am with her and we are not going to give up. Eventually, I fell asleep for quite a few times, but my hand is still lying on top of hers, I didn't let go. I knew grandma would be alright, I want her to be alright. The feeling of holding on to her swollen hand and comforting her in a way, I would never want to forget it.

On last thursday's late afternoon, I came to visit grandma at hospital, as usual. I washed my hands and then greeted and spoke to her. I told her who I am, and that I have gone to school earlier. Her left eye was slightly opened, and I was glad so I continued to call her, trying to let her know that all of us are with her. Suddenly, her eyeball was hung up and she didn't breathe. I panicked and have kept calling her, and I called the nurse to check on her. It happened to be just a hoax as she was trying to reserve some energy for coughing, which was quite tiring for her. I cried and I got a shock of my life.

Grandma passed away peacefully on the day itselft, at night, in the hospital. It happened as her breathing pattern was slowed down, and eventually she took her last breath while we were present around her bedside. The nurses went in to check and one of them came out to say "She has passed on". At the point in time, all of us felt as if our hearts were tearing apart by some kind of strange force. Not much words could explain how we were feeling, and we can only express it through those streams of tears that kept flowing down our cheeks.

Grandma looked pale and so vulnerable while lying on the bed motionlessly. No matter how hard we cry and try to speak to her, there was no response at all. Each of us took turns to speak to her and touch her before the porters came to collect her body. I touched her cold forehead and stroked her hair, knowing that it could be the very last time in which I can have physical contact with my grandma.

The point of death for my grandma was swift and painless. We are very grateful that grandma did not suffer and experience any discomfort during her death. Grandma is living in another dimension now, however, not far away from us.

There are so many memories of grandma that I want to always store it in my brain and never forget them. I have decided to store it in my blog as well, just to ensure that I will always remember them.

Here are the memories...

When I was at the age of being very conscious of how I look, being afraid that I might have got a very bad dressing sense which really lowers my confidence level, grandma's words changed everything.

It used to be every saturday, whereby my mum would bring us over to grandma's house to visit her and grandpa. And there was once when I asked my sister whether I looked okay in my clothes or not. Being occupied with playing her mobile phone game, she just told me that I looked okay, without any eye contact with me, making that response considered to be inaccurate and not true at all. Grandma then overheard our short conversation, and she begun to give a comment in Hokkien dialect: "人若是美，穿设么都好看" [In english: "If you are pretty, you will look good no matter what you wear"]. From that day onwards, I stopped asking people because I trust my dressing sense. And most importantly, no matter what I wear, I always look good, because I am pretty in my grandma's eyes.

My grandma and grandpa always look forward to the weekends. They didn't tell me that, but I can tell from their expressions. When we enter their house, we will greet them with a wide smile (well, at least I do that all the time). Upon greeting grandma and telling her who I am, she will stretch out her hand and call my name, followed by a huge smile on her face. Her eyes were smiling too. Hence, I told myself that when I grow up (I was pretty small at that time), I will come and visit them during weekdays if I can. Eventually, I did it last year or earlier this year, but not very frequently. She was extremely happy and amazed during my first visit to their house, all alone.

She addressed me as 'baby' in Hokkien dialect, and praised me. She was amazed that I travelled alone to visit them and even bought food for them. I told grandma that I am 18 years old, so I know my way here and that means that I would be able to visit them whenever I can. Grandma smiled so happily on that day, and on other visits as well. During weekends, my family, aunts, cousins and uncle would visit them and grandma's smiles are just priceless. You can pay money to a photographer and fake a few smiles just because the photographer says that the developed photos would look great, but for those smiles of my grandma, it simply means that she's happy and she want us to visit her whenever we can.

Now that grandma has proceeded to another dimension where her physical sufferings end, we will proceed on with life as well, and we will fulfil our promises. Grandma, the physical sufferings have ended, don't worry and we will take care of grandpa.

Everything will be okay

There are simply too many worries and stuff that seem to be bugging us, and affecting our everyday life in certain ways. They just strike us like lightnings. It is a good news if the issues can be settled and problems can be resolved. However, things just don't work so easily in real life. For such a situation, not many of us have the courage to move on and just simply get shove away those issues to one side and treat it as if it's invisible. Hence, for many people including me, we choose to have a religion and believe the presence of god whom is giving us protection and ensuring that everything will be okay.

Those issues which cannot be settled and that we can't do anything much about it include situations whereby someone is dying and even the doctors can't do anything more to cure the patient due to his/her old age. This kind of situation is really a mental and physical torture for both the patient and his/her family.

What can we do about it? We can only pray for the mental and physical well-being of the patient, and hope that he/she doesn't suffer too much before and at the point of death. We know that his/her condition is not good at all due to the damaged organs and other complications which do not leave us even a pinch of hope and the reason to be optimistic.

But there seems to be contraditions all the time. Such that, we hope that a miracle happens and he/her recovers and be healthy again, which is not possible anymore. But, that single lit of hope is still within our hearts.

What else can we do, and what do we need to do? The very last thing we can do is to visit him/her a couple of times a week, and to spend time with him/her during the last part of his/her life-journey. We need to touch his/her hands to let him/her feel our presence, and as well as talking to him/her, regardless whether there is any response.

Everything will be okay, we can only pray for that miracle to happen again.

Why you should never commit suicide

These are the common ways of commiting suicide:

1. Jumping off a building
2. Over-dose on pills
3. Wrist- cutting

Reasons why you should never make an attempt to try them out:

1.  Jumping off a building

When you decide to kill yourself and end your wonderful life through jumping off the building, you would be entitled to two routes: One, you would probably be dumped into a coffin and asked to Rest In Peace. Two, you would end up in the 'Accident & Emergency department', feeling miserable because of the physical pain and fretting over why you weren't dead yet.

For route 1, many would think that it is great since the goal of being dead is achieved. But, think again. Who knows how is it to be in another dimension? Would there be more misery? Would there be more sufferings? And since it isn't your turn to die yet, why not just make use of the time to do the things you want to do? If you feel that you have got no goals to accomplish, then spend the time to care for people around you, especially those who are in need of help. Besides that, don't ever think that you would die looking pretty and cool. Your skull would crack, and all those brain juice and stuff would start to flow out. And there would be fractures all over, blood flowing out from your mouth and nose. Especially for ladies who wants to look pretty, don't ever try it.

For route 2, it is definitely a very painful and torturing experience. With fractures, you would have to spend a period of time in the hospital receiving treatments and then going for physiotherapy sessions. Or in another case, would be ending up in a coma, whereby you would not be able to respond although chances are that you can hear what your family and friends are trying to tell you, by your bed side. Also, you would be a burden for your family as all of them would probably think of commiting suicide as well upon receiving the hospital bills.

Jumping off the building is never a wise decision as there's a possibility of hitting on the innocent victims who just happen to pass by builiding. Be responsible, don't drag others to your deathbed.

2. Over-dose on pills

For this scenario, there will be two outcomes as well, in which you would be "awarded" with only one route. Over-dosing of pills will lead to excessive pain in the inside, and in some cases the organs will fail and due to other complications, foaming in the mouth area would occur. Sunken eyes would probably occur in some cases, hence once again, if you wish to look pretty on your last journey (death), don't try it.

If you are the sort who is afraid of extreme pain, never attempt to try. Don't think that over-dosing of sleeping pills would make you fall asleep and you won't get to feel any pain at all since you are already asleep. When the over-dosing effect strikes you in the inside and the extreme pain is introduced, do you still think that you won't be awake by then? If this occurs and you happen to be at home alone, congratulations, you would be dying in misery and agony, all alone.

If you happen to be saved by your family or friends and sent to the hospital immediately, WELCOME BACK TO YOUR WONDERFUL LIFE! But then, you would still need to undergo one or two treatments to get rid of the pills in your stomach. And once again, loads of money would be wasted. You might as well don't commit suicide in the first place, and donate the huge sum of money to those in need. That would be a wise decision.

3. Wrist- cutting

Upon performing this, ugly and obvious scars will be left on the wrist, and if treatment and attention are not given immediately, death would be resulted due to excessive blood loss. Besides that, it would be a slow death as time is needed for the excess blood to flow out before reaching a critical situation. The blood loss would make you feel weak and definitely uncomfortable as you can feel it.

Another situation would be being hospitalised and undergoing blood transfusion. Again, ugly scars would be left on the wrist and when you get discharged from the hospital, people would stare at those scars and keep on asking what happened. To prevent all those stares and comments, you would probably start to put on long-sleeved shirt all the time, and it gives you restrictions on what you wear.

Would you still have suicidal thoughts upon considering all these outcomes? Bear in mind that there is never a win-win situation. Adopt a healthy mindset and do talk to those whom you trust and don't keep all the worries and sorrows to yourself. Never give up so easily, love yourself and love your life.

Define "good kid"

Here are some of the most prominent characteristics of a good kid:

A good kid:
1. Respects people
2. Doesn't use vulgarities (well, there might be a few exception for some)
3. Doesn't let his or her loved ones feel worried
4. Is lovable

And, here are some common misconceptions on the characteristics of a good kid:
1. Nerdy-looking (or even behaving like a nerd)
2. Follows instructions blindly
3. Has good grades
4. Doesn't have a lot of friends
5. Boring


So.. What is a "good kid"?

A good kid could have a good personality to begin with, such that he is respectful to almost all the people around him and that he behaves in the right manner (depending on the different situations). Behaving in a right manner doesn't mean that he stays quiet all the time and that he can be easily pushed around. Behaving in a right manner also means that he is able to protect himself (verbally, at least), not getting bullied through so-called verbal abuse. As for physical abuse, it is unlikely to occur as a good kid will always get to shun away from it, somehow. Besides that, he won't get into that kind of trouble in the first place.

A good kid is wise, and he makes decisions that are the best for himself and if it involves others, he will of course spend more time to think before making the decision. Being wise can also bring to another point that he doesn't let people around him feel worried as he would be able to overcome challenges and solve most of the problems by himself.

A good kid chooses the appropriate words to use, and vulgarities would definitely be out of the list. This is because vulgarities are generally offensive, and that's the obvious reason why people don't greet each other using vulgarites.

A good kid does not necessary have straight 'A's in his result slip because he knows that he has a proper life to live and he doesn't want to spend all of his precious time on studying, he knows that a good amount of time should be spent on concerning his loved ones and friends, and as well as for relaxation. Hence, for sure, a good kid is completely different as compared to a nerd.

A good kid will surely have friends, although it might not be a lot. With the ability to influence his friends in a good way, how can he not have at least a few close friends whom he can get along with? And you might be suprised, most of the good kids have a rather good sense of humour and they aren't boring at all.

"Well, how and what can I do to be a good kid, then?"

I'll teach you how, in the next post.

Saying "NO" to sucidal thoughts

Everyday without fail, there tend to be at least one article on a suicide case on the local newpapers or on the online news website.

It's saddening to see how people turn to death when they find that they are unable to deal with stress or issues that are bugging them.

While for those who are terminally ill, they are strugging to live for themselves and as well as for their loved ones. Hence, no matter how difficult the situation is, they still choose to endure the physical pain and undergo treatments which can possibly have side-effects (which will make them feel worse). But, what do they do? Do they commit suicide so easily? Do they want to end their lives when they can choose to undergo medical treatments, in which they would become healthy and happy again?

The answer is "No".

Then, why are the healthy people who do not have any illnesses, choosing the route of commiting suicide to end their lives when facing major or even minor problems?

When you have the chance to live, grab hold it and make sure you don't let it slip away so easily. Have a positive mindset, and when you face problems in life, figure out effective ways to deal with them and never let those foolish thoughts occupy your mind.

When you feel that the workload is simply too much and you can't handle it, just give yourself a break and go and exercise or do your favourite things. When your girlfriend or boyfriend leaves you, just tell yourself that the next one will definitely be better and there is no point struggling to secure that relationship when he or she has already given up on the relationship.

Everyone has to go in the end, but bear in mind that it would be dying in a natural way, or for those that are not as fortunate, would be dying because of illnesses. Other than that, never end yours by commiting suicide.

Third step to happiness: Spending quality time with your family

Nowadays, I am quite suprised when I hear people telling me how great their friends are, and how much they enjoy spending time with them.

I often hear all these, the sentences below:

- "I'm so gonna go out with my friends after the exams"
- "I love to spend time out with my friends, do you know how fun it is?"
- "I wish that I can spend more time with my friends, even if it's being together everyday!"
- "My friends understand me more than what my own family do"

So, what's the similarity between the above sentences? Well, it's obvious but if you still don't get it then it's the word 'FRIENDS'.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to spend time with your friends, but nowadays people (especially youngsters) seems to be spending more quality time with their friends instead of family.

Let me explain it further. It's like, going home and spending more than 8 hours with the family [just sitting around, with no interactions and complete silence]
isn't enough and it isn't considered as quality time at all.

Your family has always been here with you since you were young, till now. They are the ones who understand you the most, care for you the most, and they give you everything you need which could be love and as well as some luxury items that you've always wanted.

But, why? Why aren't kids nowadays spending quality time with their family? Why aren't they talking to their family and caring for them? If you are unable to communicate or even, UNWILLING to do so, then I am very certain that you won't be able to know what true happiness is.

At home, you have a shelter over you. Whenever you get upset and frown, guess what? I'm sure your family would be one of the first few people to notice it. If they are unable to console you or calm you down verbally, then they will surely try to do other stuff which can cheer you up. An example would be preparing a nutritious meal, though it do not always taste nice.

While for friends, you don't stay together with them hence you try to spend the rest of the time organising outings just to spend time together during the day. Friends are unable to put in all their effort just to care for you and look after you for 24/7. They can't be the first few to look after you when you fall sick, while your family members are. This is because they have their own families to look after and spend time with, as well.

Till you know how to spend quality time with your family, you will then get to know what true happiness is and how to get it.

Regrets

There are simply too many things that are bothering each of us, which eventually leads to us neglecting people whom we are supposed to care about.
Sometimes, when you suddenly wake up and realise that you have not been spending enough time with those people whom you are supposed to care about, you find that a whole lot of issues and problems will be thrown to you. This is when people start having never-ending regrets.
If you haven't been visiting your grandparents or people who have been very nice to you, you should probably pay them a visit whenever you are free. Even if you are so called 'to busy with work', you should at least try and squeeze out some time for those special ones.
You don't "forget" the regrets after a period of time. Instead, it stays with you forever, and it would be impossible to get rid of it out of your mind.
So...
Care for those who deserves your love and attention, visit them whenever you can, and just don't realise the importance of doing it till it's too late.
Life is too short for any regrets.