The 13-year old

Year 2005 was rather nerve-wracking for a kid like me, who lack of courage and self-confidence. 

That year, I entered a Secondary School, just like many other kids. I was exposed to a whole new load of things, which freaked me out initially. But, I got used to it after some time. It seemed like there are endless stuff to be learned. The list goes: 

1. Taking the correct bus 

2. Understanding the changes associated with puberty

3. Figuring out the "right" kind of friend(s) I should hang out with

4. Managing the "funds" so that I would have enough to spend

5. Finding a cool CCA (Co-Curricular Activity) in school

...

In the end, I have managed to complete the 5 "tasks" as shown above, and tons of others. However, I did not really complete the tasks smoothly, like how some of the cool kids would have done. Let me tell you bit by bit. 

For point 1, I did take the correct bus to school, and then back to my home (Hurray!). I did alight at the correct bus stop that is just outside the school. But... On my way home, I alighted at the wrong bus stop because I had pressed the bell too early. I was really embarrassed as I alighted and I had to walk a distance before reaching my apartment. 

For point 2, I understood that there would be the start of menstruation, pimple-outbreaks, the change in body shape, etc. However, I did not know what to do about all these. During the first menstruation, I kinda freaked out seeing the bloody stuff and all I knew was that the cramps were making me uncomfortable. As for the first pimple-outbreak, I looked into the mirror and wondered why all the evil pimples had to grow on my face and lower my self-esteem.

For point 3, I did figure out the right kind of friends to hang out with after 2 to 3 years. For the first year, it was impossible for me to differentiate right away the kind ones whom I can approach, and the evil ones whom I should keep myself away from. It took many tries before finding the right clique, the friends who are constantly there for you, the friends who motivate you to do well and help you along.

For point 4, I did manage to spend within my limits, using the pocket money given by my mum. Actually, I did not have much difficulty trying to manage the funds as my mum would ask me on a daily basis on whether I have enough to spend or not (which I am always thankful for, or else my stomach would have suffered).

For point 5, the initial stage of finding the dream CCA was tough for me. I joined a uniform group called the Girl Guides just because I was a Brownie back in Primary school. On the first day of the CCA, I realised that I didn't really like it, and we were told that we need to pay for our own uniform once again (A brownie had to pay for her uniform as well). Thus, I made a bold decision. I quit that CCA on the day itself. Then, after some time, during an assembly where we were all seated, two teachers from a CCA called "Air-Rifle Club" began to approach us and took down the name of those who are interested in the CCA. Having no CCA at that point in time, I jot down my name and decided to give it a try. It eventually became my favourite hobby and I'm always proud to say that I was once an Air-Rifle Shooter and I had joined the coolest CCA on earth!

Looking back, it wasn't so bad being a 13-year old. It was the age that we had to start learning slowly on how to grow up and have fun at the same time, unlike now that as we grow older, it seems that we have forgotten how to reward ourselves by having fun. We simply work too hard trying to achieve our goals and neglect that inner child in us. Don't let that inner child in us suffer. Think about it. 

I shall end this post with a poem I wrote for a Literature assignment, when I was 13. My mum just read it and she couldn't stop laughing because of the drawings and words.      

  

Facing your fear

I would say, it is impossible for one to not have a phobia or fear of a particular thing. Some might have the fear of being "trapped" in a confined space while others might be afraid of heights. As for me, I fear of traveling on an airplane.

My first flight was back in year 2007 when I was traveling with my team mates for an overseas shooting competition in Australia. Being really young and curious, I did not worry that much while I was on the airplane. However, when the plane was landing, I was quite nervous and I felt a little comfortable as I was experiencing the "stomach sinking" feeling whenever the plane descends. I really hated that feeling because I felt as if I was going to fall and that it made me feel insecure. I was quite thankful to my friend, Abigail, who was the one trying to calm me down and she was the one who allowed me to grab onto her hand and squeeze it whenever I was feeling scared as the plane descended.

I was feeling equally scared when the plane was descending on the subsequent flights. I would shiver and get really nervous. At the time, I thought to myself that I will never ever travel on an airplane again, even though I have always wanted to travel to other beautiful countries. I thought to myself again, there aren't any alternatives except to travel by an airplane.

In April 2012, I decided to face my fear once again, after these few years. I had to do so because I wanted to travel with my family and relatives, and at the same time, I can take it as a graduation trip.

During the takeoff, I experienced some sort of giddiness perhaps due to the pressure difference. I was feeling a little uncomfortable and scared so I grabbed onto my younger sister's arm and had only let go of her arm when the "seat-belt" sign was turned off.

As I looked through the window, all I could see was small little fluffy white clouds with a baby-blue coloured background. It was kind of a mixed feeling. I was happy to see the little fluffy clouds, but seeing such tiny clouds would mean that I was high up in the sky, in an airplane.

Then, I wondered: 

"Would turbulence hit the plane?" 

"Would the plane crash?" 

"Would I feel scared when the plane descends later?"

"What should I do if I was feeling scared?"

... (and never-ending silly thoughts)

My mum and relatives were actually laughing upon seeing the "feeling scared" expression on my face and they tried to comfort me by telling me that it is very safe to travel on airplanes and there's nothing to be afraid of. I tried to listen and absorb what they were telling me, but I still felt nervous throughout the flight. Our plane was hit by a slight turbulence and I freaked out, grabbed my sister's arm once again and my heart was beating really fast. I tried to close my eyes and take a nap so that I wouldn't feel so scared, but I didn't manage to do so. Thus, I tried other stuff which could divert my attention and eventually distract me from noticing the little movements of the airplane. I listened to my favourite music and catchy songs from from Big Bang and other great singers. It really helped to ease my nervousness! Taking pictures and chit-chatting with my sister had helped too!

Finally, our plane was descending as it was reaching our destination, Taipei. To avoid experiencing that "stomach sinking" feeling that I have always hated, I slouched a little and grabbed my leg to sort of put a little pressure on my tummy. It did help as I didn't experience that "stomach sinking" feeling that much. 

When the plane landed, it sounds stupid but I really feel proud of myself because I managed to face my fear. I had even come up with ways to reduce my fear of flying, instead of avoiding it which would mean that I wouldn't have the chance to travel to Taipei with my family. I would have regretted if I did not board the airplane because the fun-filled trip was too memorable and I really enjoyed it. Moreover, many others are able to travel on airplanes with no fear at all, so I can definitely do it too! 

     Snapshots of the places we went:

                                 

 

                                                    

                                         

                                         

                                         

  

What's your fear? Is your phobia standing in your way? Does having that phobia takes away your courage to do what you want? Face your fear, just like what I did. Come up with a few methods which you think that can help you to reduce your fear or even eliminate it. 

For me, I have not totally eliminated my fear of flying, yet. However, I will try really hard to do so, because only by doing so, I would be able to travel around the world with my loved ones and to even make my dreams come true. 

It is not a shame to have a phobia, but it is a shame if you don't even try to make an effort to reduce the level of fear that you are experiencing.   

Happy cookies

During a practical lesson in school, our lecturer gave us some time to "play" with the dough that is left. So i shaped the dough using different ways.

As I was doing so, I observed my friends who are "playing" with the dough just like me. Then, I realised that from that same dough, we knead in a different manner and created different shapes. There're simple ones that are made by just using the palms to compress it and there're also complicated ones which involve patience to create.

I guess life is like that as well. You can choose to lead a simple life, but that doesn't mean that you're not unique. That is because you're the one shaping your own life with your hands. There is no point in envying others who you deem to be living a better life than you do (because that would make you feel miserable).

Live your life happily and make it wonderful. It doesn't have to be perfect (just like what my cookies look like oops) but just make sure you lead a good quality life because you're worth it.

This is what I've baked:

They don't look perfect but they're the end products of effort being put it. Of course, happiness are incorporated in it as well. :)

From your answers, I can see that you aim to be a social worker or a kindergarten teacher! That's very nice because not many teens/young adults nowadays have the passion for these occupations!

Hello, haha that's what i inspired to be in years to come but right now i still don't know exactly what i want. I will be graduating in a few more months with a diploma in food science and technology, and i hope that i'll be able to know what i really want. :)

Ask me anything

Spread the love

Click on tab below and you'll be directed to the website to fold the heart and then spread the love! :)

SingTel Touching Lives Fund

Life's like this

It's amazing when we think about how we got to this dimension, standing on this solid ground. All of us literally "grew" from a ball of cells, to a foetus, to a baby, to a toddler, to a little kid, to a kid, to a teenager, to a young adult, to an adult, to an "old" adult, and then to an elder. The last stage would be death, proceeding to another dimension. No one knows where it is, what is it about and what that place would be like. Thinking of it, it is sort of like we live to eventually die.

I used to be extremely afraid of death. To be exact, I'm afraid of the process of dying. I'm afraid of the physical pain and agony, and of getting breathless. There were rumours saying that the world is going to end in year 2012, and I was kind of depressed. But then again, there aren't solid evidence saying that it is going to happen next year. So, it did help to cheer me up. Ever since witnessing my late grandma taking her last breath and leaving peacefully, I am no longer that afraid of death.

No one knows when death is going to approach. But one thing for sure is that no one can escape from it. Be it dying a natural death, illness or in an accident. I'm not writing this post to depress my readers, what I want to do is to let you realise what we need to do before death approaches.

Keeping yourself and your loved ones happy is the very first thing that you should do. Next, fulfill your dreams. I understand that it is easy to say than getting it done. Well, if you can't fulfill all of your dreams, at least try to do something that can make yourself feel good and have the sense of accomplishment. Also, lend a helping hand to those who are in need. Even a simple gesture of giving up a seat on the train would be good enough to make you feel good.

There're many things you can do in your whole lifetime. Don't be afraid to love even when you've had an awful experience. Remember, our motto is "to have no regrets" :)

Because you don't get to say "see you" to your loved ones when death approaches.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1393166/Soldiers-messages-love-baby-daughter-widow-grave-dies-Afghanistan.html

My sister loves to make fun of me all the time.. But that's okay, because that means that I've succeeded (once again) in making her laugh. Laughing is a good exercise which helps you get rid of some stress, so I hope I've succeeded in making you laugh as well.

The importance of staying positive

Life is just like a Roller coaster, with ups and downs. The ups are when we feel like we are on top of the world, with full of happiness. The downs are when we feel like we are stucked in tunnel, a deep deep one which seemed like we aren't able to get any help from others who are standing and walking firmly on the ground. The feeling of being helpless, I would say.

So, during these downs, it is important that we keep thinking positively. Imagine if the negative thoughts keep on poisoning our minds, what would happen is that we would break down and we wouldn't even bother to find our way out of the scary dark tunnel. It is definitely more worthwhile to take up the challenge, think positive and we would eventually get out of the tunnel and 'reunite' with our loved ones again.

If we fall sick, don't get stressed out because things will eventually work its way out. To regain a good health, listen to the doctor and take the prescribed medication with the right dosage. If treatments are needed, go for it.

If we get bullied, don't be afraid to put on a brave front to fight against these ugly bullies. Well, not getting physical because you wouldn't want to dirty your hands and get your parents worried.

If we can't find a group to do the projects, approach others who haven't found one. At the end of the day, our aim is to get the job done so don't fret and stay calm. Once you're done with the work, that's it. You are free to go!

We only have one life to live, so why not live it in a meaningful way and stay happy? It's true that we never know when death approaches. So, before it comes to us, let's just live happily and do whatever we want to (but nothing that's morally incorrect). It's better to smile at the tricky issues that are troubling you, rather than wasting crying all day long. Crying is alright, but just not too often as you wouldn't want to waste boxes of tissue papers. :)

Would u rather exchange shorter life or risk your studies for the things you once lost, like ur late grandma?

Neither, because my loved ones would have to bear all the pain if i were to die younger and they would be upset if i were to drop out of school. Now i just pray that all my loved ones age at a slow rate and that they stay healthy, and i believe that grandma's still with me.

Ask me anything

How many children are u planning to have?

I don't know.. 3 would be great i guess

Ask me anything

One

Different people define and describe the word 'clown' in many different ways. Most would define a clown as a silly character with an ugly face and frizzy hair, behaving in a wierd manner. Others see a clown as someone who's able to bring laughter to the visitors in a theme park.

A clown, in my context, is a funny person. One who tells jokes which aren't appreciated by many people, and yet it can be quite funny sometimes when you think about it over and over again. One who does not have any worries, thus he or she is able to bring joy to the rest who may be feeling troubled.

Being a clown in your own positive way, around your family members isn't that bad after all. At least, you don't have to:

1. Colour your face

2. Put on the bulky costume

3. Wear a bright-coloured wig

4. Wear over-sized shoes    

All you need to do is to be yourself and just interact freely with your family members. If one of them happens to be upset or troubled, you can try cheering him or her up by being a clown. You can find out what's wrong and then do anything which is beneficial. Telling a not-so-funny joke, singing a song off-tune, making silly facial expressions, and etc. If it doesn't work, it's okay.. At least, you tried.

At the end of the day you would consider yourself lucky to be able to be a clown in your family. Because that would mean that you bring joy and you're part of the reason why the family stays intact and close! It's a bliss to do so, no doubt. Try it and you'll feel the fun and joy, and most importantly, you would feel happier. 

BUSY

Quick update:

Yea, another 4 letter word that irritates us. For those special ones who are waiting for my good quality posts, just hang on! Just to let you know what my next few posts would be about. It would be categorised under 'My facebook status'. Not to worry, it wouldn't be too boring I guess.

Oh and if any of my posts has helped you to become a happier person, congratulations and keep it up! Think positively and do whatever you can to keep yourself and your loved ones happy :)

Before I go, here's a reminder from me:

What would you try if you had no fear?

Stepping into another dimension to visit my late grandma and see if she's alright.

Ask me anything

what give u the idea to start this blog??

The suicide cases reported on the news, and the people around me. I would say, most of them do not know how fortunate they are as compared to other kids who are suffering out there. Thus, they keep thinking that god is unfair to them and just keep on complaining, which is non-constructive. Also, I hope to be of some help to those who are depressed and need some advice, or those who simply wants to know the reasons why we should live each and every single day happily.

Ask me anything

Salute!

Randy Pausch. An extraordinary person who has already proceeded to another dimension, not similar to the one that we are living in now. He's famous for who he is, his fighting spirit against cancer. While other cancer patients get depressed and don't feel like doing anything else, Randy Pausch remained satisfied and shared precious lessons learned from life. 'The last lecture'.

You can read more about Randy Pausch and take a look at the videos of him conducting the lectures. I'm sure you'll be more satisfied with what you have now, and that you will also know the importance of spending each day fruitfully.

Randy Pausch's Homepage: http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~pausch/

May day is Happy day

Today's post will be a short short one.

Yea, it's my 19th Birthday! As usual, my wish is "I wish that all my wishes will come true". Haha, but it can't be considered as cheating right, it's still a wish afterall..

Just wanna say that I know that not many of the people read my blog posts and some might even fall asleep in the mist of reading those long posts. Nevertheless, I know that there are still one or two special ones who are constantly catching up with me on this blog. If you happen to be one of those special ones, a big thank you to you! :)

I've been quite busy with slacking and school work, so wait for my 'good quality' posts alright.. Alright, got to go! If May day is a public holiday in your country, enjoy it! And you can send letters to me via: jasmineclue@gmail.com

Good Luck

If you are....

1. A Nokia phone user
2. Feeling upset about everything
3. Feeling bored
4. Have Internet access
5. A person who needs more "inspirational" stuff to pull you up

You should go to the Ovi Store and download this application called 'Good Luck'. I'm not sure whether you can find this application on Iphones or other smart phones.

Ever since witnessing the moment when my grandma took her last breath and attending funerals, I begin to wonder why God gave us life but eventually all of us will age and die. I wonder why eternity is impossible, why my loved ones would eventually have to leave me. Then, why do we still devote so much time on loving people around us?

I've downloaded the application and I think I'll need to look at things in a different perspective. I took a screen snap of one of the interesting quotes. Best of all, it is apparently free of charge! Here's it:

Do you see that? It says, 'Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all'.

I think many of the youngsters might think that this applies to those people who just broke up with their boyfriends or girlfriends. Sounds like it, huh.

Well, I've interpreted it in another way.

For my case, it's like.. I love my grandma, there won't be a past tense to it. But her death has affected me in many ways and it strikes me badly. It's especially true when I stepped into her house, staring at the empty chair in which she used to sit.

Then, I came across this particular quote from the application. It cheers me up and the pain eased a little. Since I have chosen to love, I shall not have any regrets or get into a depressed state for a long period of time when I lose my loved ones.

Everyone and everything has to go in the end, it's just the matter of time. Instead of getting so depressed over the loss, we'll need to move on to show our love and care to those who are still alive.

Nevertheless, we should never forget our loved ones who have proceeded to a different dimension from us. Although they are unable to return to life, they are still living in our hearts. Forever, it will be.

Deja vu or coincidence?

A suicide case occcured here in Singapore on Friday, 15th of April. Well, I know there're suicide cases reported frequently or even everyday, all around the world. But, for this case, it's rather sad.

You can get the gist of what happened by reading this short article here:
http://www.straitstimes.com/BreakingNews/Singapore/Story/STIStory_657729.html

Basically, a mother and her 9 year old daughter were found dead on a grass patch, after jumping down from their apartment which is on the 12th floor. Many expressed their anger because they could not understand the reason why the mother had to take her daughter with her, to the route of death. Painful death, in fact.

12 floors. You can imagine how bad the effect was. Bone fractures, distorting of facial features and endless pain that tortures. An innocent girl who has only lived 9 years of life, and she couldn't make it even as a teenager just because of her mother's mistake of grabbing her and jumping down from the 12th floor together.

Nevertheless, I felt that the mother is not to be blamed entirely. She could be down with some kind of depression or that she wasn't thinking correctly at that point in time. There could be tricky issues that were bugging her.

Yea, so what has Deja vu got to do with this incident? I'll tell you in a few seconds.

About 1or 2 days before this happened, which could be the 13th or 14th, I had a wierd dream that terrified me to the extent that I have trouble getting back to sleep. I have dreamt of a woman hugging a girl, standing on the edge of a building. Without any warning, that woman jumped down and landed on the ground. I couldn't really recall what happened next but it was really scary.

I was shocked when one of my colleagues that I've met during my internship told me of the suicide case that she have read on the newspaper. I started to wonder whether it's Deja vu or just pure coincidence. Whatever it is, I hope I won't get to dream about such stuff again. May the mother and her daughter rest in peace.

Friendship

Friendship is literally a ship (as its name suggests) that sails on the sea. A colourful and cute-looking ship, just like what I've just drawn:

Once you board this ship, you would find that life is more interesting as you get to hang out with your friends and do all the crazy things that you've never thought of doing. You get to share your worries with your friends, and often you would ask them for advice or possible solutions to solving your problems. Other than that, you and your friends would go shopping together, exercise together, eat together and just have fun together.

However, many of us understand that the situation can change at any time, such that the friendship is "broken" somehow, and that's when some of us would feel upset and find that we have got no one to turn to. Possible issues that have led to this would be disagreements, different opinions and etc. When these issues arise, the ship that you have boarded would most probably be traveling across the sea of huge waves. Huge huge waves which makes you unable to stand properly while on the ship. So, how do we deal with it?

The very first thing you should do is to stay calm and don't try to upset your friends by saying nasty stuff (whether it's in their face or not). Perhaps you can try to go for a nap, or go to bed if it's almost time. It is quite useful as you would have a clearer view of things once you have sufficient rest. After that, think about what went wrong. Remember, you must not have biased views, otherwise you would never be able to figure out what exactly went wrong and who is/are responsible for it. Once you are done with it, proceed to the next step, APOLOGISE.

In this way, you will be able to maintain a good relationship with your friends and that be rest assured, the ship will sail smoothly on the calm sea.